Let the chips fall where they will

 sat across the table from him. We hadnt seen eachother in a while….

He moved to Shanghai , met a girl, fell in love…Got married and divorced within a year.He took a long deep swig of his Jack & Coke …heavy sigh….

“So how do you do it”?  he asked. ” How do you make the distance work with her? I couldnt make it work with Anna while we were in the same county!” I didnt want to let her go..but she wouldnt stay no matter how much i asked… and the irony is , she was the one that fucked this up…but i love her.”  (he added softly)

“ How do you ever know that its going to work?” …Sobs came slowly and then fast and i felt his pain in waves.

I waited for him to compose himself and he dried his eyes hurredly and looked at me as if to say…”Give me something i can believe or trust in.”

I shook my head , patted him on the back and said..

“The truth is you never know really.” (his face fell, hope was fleeting

I smiled re-assuringly.

” We cant control other people…only influence. We cant know everything…simply believe.”
Everyone has their own barrometer of right and wrong…and we are nothing, if not the people we are when we think nobody is watching.”

Be the best person you can be for yourself and the people you love…let the chips fall where they may.

I put him in a cab…sent him on his way….

“He will be alright!”, i thought as i walked away.

I pulled my iPod out of my jacket pocket and went to random play… the song playing on my jukebox tonight…

” …Cos all of the stars, Are fading away
Just try not to worry,You’ll see them some day
Take what you need,And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out…”

I looked up at the sky and smiled as it started to drizzle….

“He will be alright!”, i thought as i walked away…

O gracejo está em você.Sempre ser.

There are some people who like being the centre of attention. Whether its good or bad attention is of no consequence…as long as they are in the center. They like being the go-to for as many things as they can and orchestrate situations where the dynamics of power stay firmly in their favour.  Be it witholding information or confusing people alround them by jumping between opinions, saying one thing…doing another. Deflecting blame wherever they can as they are incapable of looking at themselves objectively.

These people , warped though they are..have hopes and dreams too which they keep close to their hearts, clutched and concealed for fear of loss and thieft.

Unfortunately for them, they are so busy with their Power trips and orchestras of confusion…that they end up..just that….Confused ! and they miss simple premises of life like… “Giving a situation what it needs,when it needs it.”

Instead, their malaise that surrounds them, sits there like a cloud, as they stare desperately outward in search of wisdom and answers from any source they can find (no matter how unlikely). They  hem and haw about why they feel so empty and alone…and why people leave them in the end but never get anywhere. Everything they touch fails in the area that means the most to them.

Sadly, all this is for naught….these words i mean. Because even in seeing themselves on these pages, they are incapable of real recognition of their plight. No happy ending, No warmth , Life denies them what they want most … and saddest of all…its because of them and them only…

The joke is  on them. And always will be till(Ever so simply) they give the situation what it needs.

Luck in finding your way…

A devil in a clown suit ?

A heart in a clowns suit? A devil under cover ?
Self-discovery sometimes raises ugly questions (and equally ugly answers)

But standing outside your frame, you look different
My mind perceives the strain that the eyes miss
Shaky smiles hide the turmoil of a youth you have not grown out off.
You play the clown , jim and anthony sing songs your heart desires.
A steady stream of bodies flow in and out of the void they will never fill
You call yourself “clueless” when you think no one is watching
But i am always looking … looking for the hole in your soul.
Is it over…and will you blow out the fame of your child hood.
So different from me…yet where we come from gives you the potential to be so much better than you have chosen to be…

I exist outside you…but i am connected to you
I stand by and watch you fail ….and do nothing
You must break flesh on white walls because my words of guidance arent good enough
Break flesh then…and be done…bleed and know for yourself the truth i speak
When healing and sense find you…you will know me again…

I promise i wont laugh … i promise i wont gloat…
I promise we will pick up pieces of you with balloon hearts and plan your bright future.

The heart in the clowns suit beats as does mine! The devil under cover wins only if you let him!

A devil in a clown suit ?
I think not !
You’re just someone who is lost and doesnt know it yet !

The malcontent will never find a comfortable chair…

Pity is not an emotion i reserve for myself. I prefer to dole it out to those who need it and withold it from those that believe its their right to have.

I sit here with one thought running through my head… and my answer is ….

“…those who continue searching for things long after they have found them because they feel compelled to test as opposed to believe…”

We manifest all our minds can conceive of …and orchestrate what we can fathom….

The unappreciative and the malcontent will never find a comfortable chair…

Not the time for Friends sniffing for benefits

There is a time for love and a time for war…
A time to rise and shine and a time to snore…
A time for laughter and a time to cry
A time to live and a time to die.

There is a time for togetherness and a time to part
A time for science and a time for art
A time to confront and a time to give benefit to well meaning friends
This is NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES….

Again : The Wisdom in Nursery Rhymes

“You may very well be well-bred ,Lots of etiquette in your head
But there’s always some special case, Time or place to forget etiquette.

Don’t be rude, never mock ,Throw a kiss, not a rock
BUT clear the aisle and NEVER smile at Mister Crocodile”

Dont Tempt it…

Dont tempt it,Dont poke it. Dont tease it, Dont leave it.

One day you will regret it all…

When youth has left you and the folly of your ways is your only thought…
Your mind will do you in.

Your’e not unbreakable (you just think you are).

Life is not forever (you just think it is).

Pretty outside..but ugly in.

Inside-out is the world that will find you.

Learn to respect …before you are forced to regret.

In Pursuit of happiness

I look at lines on hands that feel,
And before bed , i gently kneel
And look to night skies and the heavens above
Silent thanks  for the ones that i love.

Then closing my eyes i think alot
On life and love and what ive got
And where i want to go from here
All my hopes and all my fears.

Please …i say when words i find
 exposing the wants of heart and mind
let me be worthy, keep me safe
shield me from this , im not that brave.

Happy is all i ever want for mine
On a table that overflows do i wish to dine .
Not so much that makes for selfish pride
Not so little that makes be hide.

This is my prayer . I am in pursuit of happiness.

The Party of My Existance….

Welcome to the party of my existance
Everyone i know is here.Watching.Waiting .
I stand still and silent and smile and bow.
The show they have come to see – “What will i do next.”

They stand there daring me to make a move,
Lift a foot from the floor – anything !
Asking me to forget those days ever happened.

I stand still..a statue by day, a samurai by night
They wait and watch …squinting in the darkness..
…At phantom outlines in the dead calm.
Not approaching for fear of pain to them and their fragile egos.

And when the day breaks again…
Their eyes squint on… but now in disbelief.
My footsteps mark white floors..down to where the garden begins.
I am gone.

My ring is on my finger, A song of the shire on my lips…
I am misunderstood …And deep down i know i always will be.
Maybe I am something best not explained…but understood. 
You may never understand.
Silent Life gets easier with every step…
Off you go…on to the next Mystery.

Why the world doesnt need a Superman anymore

When they created superman in the 1930s…they created him in an age where people still aspired to be good in a world which was and still is more bad.

They created him as a symbol of virtue and kindness and quiet strength for people at a time when we needed a more modern ideal for what god was.

When they created superman, they didn’t use a person of this world, but instead chose to create him from an alien planet. (Maybe because they realized that no one would believe that a single human being could possess all these qualities)

Somewhere along the way, the world took a turn for the worse ….the evil grew. Hope was fleeting and the lines between right and wrong grew blurry, fueled by clever isms like “There is no black and white, just shades of grey.” coined by convenient people.

Superman fell in to shadow, and it was only fitting that they had to INVENT someone like DOOMSDAY (ironic name) to end him.

To most, this may sound like some story about the history of superman…to me it is a Sign of things to come.

Superman was based on a single premise…that people WANTED to be innately good… sadly superman doesn’t work in a world where people have given up and sold out to the blackness within them…losing their desire to try to be better human beings.

He went from being a hero, to someone that is viewed by people as one dimensional and boring.

Most people will never realize why superman chose to hide behind the guise of a character like Clark Kent and why the creators created a character like Bizzaro and Bizzaro World.
Most wouldn’t know what to do with the answer if they could figure it out.

This is why I don’t surround myself with “Most people” and its why it saddens me when I see a person who started out good, give in because …damn it …the world just doesn’t appreciate them and their ideals; And worse…makes them feel bad that they aspire to have them in the first place.

For all these reasons … the world doesn’t need a superman anymore.

Baying at the moon

Let heathens dance their merry dance,
And words flow fast like idiotic rivers.
The stars fortold long ago what they will soon to reveal
But alas only one understood their language ,
while the other was too busy marvelling at wit and game.