Clarity comes…

All is not well within the recesses of my mind and heart.

I have had moments like these before where i can hear a dull roar , the kind you hear from a crowd where what is being said is indistinct and lost over the din of the mixed messages being screamed at you. All i am aware of is that there are definite messages and that i must decipher them and do it quickly.

I wake up tired because even though my eyes are shut my mind is on and continues to labour on…working out permutations and combinations drawing angles on the map of my life with a compass that wont quit.

I know that there is happiness in my life, the conventional kind ..the kind most people want. I know that there is love and success in good measure and that beautiful memories have been made.But underlying it all, i hear molten lava flow under the ground i stand on, chipping away at the rock and dust. It has a voice and it has a tongue one which it has held for too long . It is ready to use it now .

One thing is certain, choices and change are coming and if i am to choose well, i must find a way to listen to what the inner voice is saying, i must go in search of a place where the ground will open up and i will bathe in the fire and ash and gravel.

A place where my skin will be stripped from my body and a new coat will form in its stead. Where the voice is the only one i will know and where its words will resound in my ears.

There will be no pain, there will be no noise – There will only be Clarity.

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~ by koc1978 on August 3, 2007.

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