The people we were and the people we have become

The people we were and the people we have become

Everywhere i go, i see the effect of the past on the future. In holy wars, In cracks on monuments, In wrinkles on peoples faces  and yes even in relationships people have with eachother.

And it is this effect that i write about today.

Yes we’ve all been hurt, yes we’ev all been let down, yes we’ve all been conditioned to think more and feel less, keep people at arms length and test them every chance we get. 

I say get over it and start afresh and you can only do it with someone who you believe is willing to do the same for you. (The key word being “Believe”)

Ms. Red said it best and took the ever important first step when she admitted to herslf that it wasnt ok to make the people in your life,  pay for your bad past, especially well meaning people . (*patting you on the back again Red, im truely in awe.*)     

Having said that, there are people who will never get it. They have been so scarred by the past that they spend one half of their lives living there reminiscing, comparing, fantasizing. Anything that goes wrong today, is automatically compared to a past memory and all reactions  are all based on fear of the past repeating itself. Unfortunately, living in fear paralyzes (like an animal caught in a cars headlights) And we all know who dies in that story.

The other side of this complex coin, are the same people reminiscing about the good times they had with people in the past and the fantastic world that they once lived in. Their first kiss, a wonderful night, laughter and the like. Unfortunately, in their haze of thought, the miss out facts and reasons ..things like timing and why relationships fail, the people we were and the people we have become.

Sometimes  these people wake up and realise that the one foot firmly rooted in the past, is the foot that is responisble for their scarred existances today  . Make no mistake, the effects of their lack of action are felt by them too (as well it should be). They feel stretched, and conflicted, and tired and thin…and dont know how to make it all work.

To them i say, make progress every day, sometimes you may lose people along the way but at least they in some small way helped you take that ever important step towards meaningfulness – A relationship which is supportive, free of sorrid games and above all trust.

Maybe you will never fully get there in your life time but believe that you will. It all starts with the belief that you can uproot that big foot you have in the past and make it work for you in the present.

Oh and one last thing…the people you say you love…dont forget to let them know that your sorry. Yes it is really the hardest word…but look at it this way…the past is already robbing you of any hope of real happiness  as you stand there… are you really going to  let it rob you of your dignity as well.

Good luck to you all…you can do it!

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~ by koc1978 on August 3, 2007.

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