This is the END my Friend… a public truth without the apology

I have had 4 serious relationships in my life. And have loved all manner of women. Some were firecely independent, others liked to depend on the relationship for support, some made me laugh, others made me cry and one did neither.

With each breakup, lessons were learned and 3 out of 4 remain good friends of mine. Id like to think its because they know who i am and what i stand for. Yes i sometimes hurt them (i am human) but i learned quickly and never repeated my “offence”. I never cheated on any of them (why would i be in a relationship if i wanted to “phillander”) I always TRIED to be fair to them and myself and i even broke up with one of them because i realised I wasnt treating her the way she deserved to be treated and i was doing her more harm than good by being with her.

When we broke up… there was pain…as there is bound to be, but in the end there was healing and finally we came back to the start ….where our journeys together began….”As friends and as human beings who realised each others value.”

Human relationships are a mine-field of emotions, some happy others not so much, but i think what defines the human being is how elegantly they manage their emotions when life tries to coerce them into being less than human. Its speaks volumes about whats in their DNA and talks to the heart of me.

A recent “association” of mine… just could’nt understand why two seemingly “well meaning” people couldnt make it work…

I would like to offer a simple explaination…

In order for 2 people to go the distance…”well meaning” must at some point transform into “well done”. If all one can do is “mean well” and not “live well” the relationship isnt destined for much success.

Also, repeated promises made in the face of breakup like “ill change” or “i understand now …so give us a chance” are only desperate attempts to hold on to something familiar and secure….and is very natural…but ultimately unsuccessful.

So i say….

  • There is a reason we didnt work – We must recognize it.
  • It takes two hands to clap and one to stop – let go respectfully.
  • When its over…its best left over for good – the way back is frought with “instant promises and very little action”
  • We cant change whats in our X&Y – but we can commit to being the best versions of ourselves (and if thats not enough then thats alright too ..)
  • Exit with grace and dignity …not sad insults and resentment.
  • A breakup doesnt mean you are not good enough – just that you arent good together.
  • Dont beat your partner down to build yourself up – You end up looking very very small.

And in your darkest hour remember that “Love is leaving and arriving all at once.”

Wishing you all the “best” love in the world….no apologies …no regrets …just good wishes.


~ by koc1978 on October 4, 2007.

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