And Merlin said…

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

The best thing for being sad”, replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That is the only thing which never fails. You may grow old and lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then – to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you.”

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The people we were and the people we have become

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment
The people we were and the people we have become

Everywhere i go, i see the effect of the past on the future. In holy wars, In cracks on monuments, In wrinkles on peoples faces  and yes even in relationships people have with eachother.

And it is this effect that i write about today.

Yes we’ve all been hurt, yes we’ev all been let down, yes we’ve all been conditioned to think more and feel less, keep people at arms length and test them every chance we get. 

I say get over it and start afresh and you can only do it with someone who you believe is willing to do the same for you. (The key word being “Believe”)

Ms. Red said it best and took the ever important first step when she admitted to herslf that it wasnt ok to make the people in your life,  pay for your bad past, especially well meaning people . (*patting you on the back again Red, im truely in awe.*)     

Having said that, there are people who will never get it. They have been so scarred by the past that they spend one half of their lives living there reminiscing, comparing, fantasizing. Anything that goes wrong today, is automatically compared to a past memory and all reactions  are all based on fear of the past repeating itself. Unfortunately, living in fear paralyzes (like an animal caught in a cars headlights) And we all know who dies in that story.

The other side of this complex coin, are the same people reminiscing about the good times they had with people in the past and the fantastic world that they once lived in. Their first kiss, a wonderful night, laughter and the like. Unfortunately, in their haze of thought, the miss out facts and reasons ..things like timing and why relationships fail, the people we were and the people we have become.

Sometimes  these people wake up and realise that the one foot firmly rooted in the past, is the foot that is responisble for their scarred existances today  . Make no mistake, the effects of their lack of action are felt by them too (as well it should be). They feel stretched, and conflicted, and tired and thin…and dont know how to make it all work.

To them i say, make progress every day, sometimes you may lose people along the way but at least they in some small way helped you take that ever important step towards meaningfulness – A relationship which is supportive, free of sorrid games and above all trust.

Maybe you will never fully get there in your life time but believe that you will. It all starts with the belief that you can uproot that big foot you have in the past and make it work for you in the present.

Oh and one last thing…the people you say you love…dont forget to let them know that your sorry. Yes it is really the hardest word…but look at it this way…the past is already robbing you of any hope of real happiness  as you stand there… are you really going to  let it rob you of your dignity as well.

Good luck to you all…you can do it!

Being Perfect

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Being perfect is not about a  scoreboard . It’s not about winning. It’s about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. Being perfect is about being able to look them in the eye and know that you didnt let them down because you told them the truth. And that truth is you did everything you could. There wasnt one more thing you could’ve done. Can you live in that moment as best you can, with clear eyes, and love in your heart, with joy in your heart? If you can do that  – you’re perfect!

Courtesy: Friday Night Lights

Let the chips fall where they will

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

 sat across the table from him. We hadnt seen eachother in a while….

He moved to Shanghai , met a girl, fell in love…Got married and divorced within a year.He took a long deep swig of his Jack & Coke …heavy sigh….

“So how do you do it”?  he asked. ” How do you make the distance work with her? I couldnt make it work with Anna while we were in the same county!” I didnt want to let her go..but she wouldnt stay no matter how much i asked… and the irony is , she was the one that fucked this up…but i love her.”  (he added softly)

” How do you ever know that its going to work?” …Sobs came slowly and then fast and i felt his pain in waves.

I waited for him to compose himself and he dried his eyes hurredly and looked at me as if to say…”Give me something i can believe or trust in.”

I shook my head , patted him on the back and said..

“The truth is you never know really.” (his face fell, hope was fleeting

I smiled re-assuringly.

” We cant control other people…only influence. We cant know everything…simply believe.”
Everyone has their own barrometer of right and wrong…and we are nothing, if not the people we are when we think nobody is watching.”

Be the best person you can be for yourself and the people you love…let the chips fall where they may.

I put him in a cab…sent him on his way….

“He will be alright!”, i thought as i walked away.

I pulled my iPod out of my jacket pocket and went to random play… the song playing on my jukebox tonight…

” …Cos all of the stars, Are fading away
Just try not to worry,You’ll see them some day
Take what you need,And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out…”

I looked up at the sky and smiled as it started to drizzle….

“He will be alright!”, i thought as i walked away…

O gracejo está em você.Sempre ser.

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

There are some people who like being the centre of attention. Whether its good or bad attention is of no consequence…as long as they are in the center. They like being the go-to for as many things as they can and orchestrate situations where the dynamics of power stay firmly in their favour.  Be it witholding information or confusing people alround them by jumping between opinions, saying one thing…doing another. Deflecting blame wherever they can as they are incapable of looking at themselves objectively.

These people , warped though they are..have hopes and dreams too which they keep close to their hearts, clutched and concealed for fear of loss and thieft.

Unfortunately for them, they are so busy with their Power trips and orchestras of confusion…that they end up..just that….Confused ! and they miss simple premises of life like… “Giving a situation what it needs,when it needs it.”

Instead, their malaise that surrounds them, sits there like a cloud, as they stare desperately outward in search of wisdom and answers from any source they can find (no matter how unlikely). They  hem and haw about why they feel so empty and alone…and why people leave them in the end but never get anywhere. Everything they touch fails in the area that means the most to them.

Sadly, all this is for naught….these words i mean. Because even in seeing themselves on these pages, they are incapable of real recognition of their plight. No happy ending, No warmth , Life denies them what they want most … and saddest of all…its because of them and them only…

The joke is  on them. And always will be till(Ever so simply) they give the situation what it needs.

Luck in finding your way…

A devil in a clown suit ?

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

A heart in a clowns suit? A devil under cover ?
Self-discovery sometimes raises ugly questions (and equally ugly answers)

But standing outside your frame, you look different
My mind perceives the strain that the eyes miss
Shaky smiles hide the turmoil of a youth you have not grown out off.
You play the clown , jim and anthony sing songs your heart desires.
A steady stream of bodies flow in and out of the void they will never fill
You call yourself “clueless” when you think no one is watching
But i am always looking … looking for the hole in your soul.
Is it over…and will you blow out the fame of your child hood.
So different from me…yet where we come from gives you the potential to be so much better than you have chosen to be…

I exist outside you…but i am connected to you
I stand by and watch you fail ….and do nothing
You must break flesh on white walls because my words of guidance arent good enough
Break flesh then…and be done…bleed and know for yourself the truth i speak
When healing and sense find you…you will know me again…

I promise i wont laugh … i promise i wont gloat…
I promise we will pick up pieces of you with balloon hearts and plan your bright future.

The heart in the clowns suit beats as does mine! The devil under cover wins only if you let him!

A devil in a clown suit ?
I think not !
You’re just someone who is lost and doesnt know it yet !

The malcontent will never find a comfortable chair…

•August 3, 2007 • Leave a Comment

Pity is not an emotion i reserve for myself. I prefer to dole it out to those who need it and withold it from those that believe its their right to have.

I sit here with one thought running through my head… and my answer is ….

“…those who continue searching for things long after they have found them because they feel compelled to test as opposed to believe…”

We manifest all our minds can conceive of …and orchestrate what we can fathom….

The unappreciative and the malcontent will never find a comfortable chair…